What is your Health Symptoms telling YOU?
So many of us take our health for granted, we don't listen to our bodies signs and symptoms until it's too late.
I know, despite studying holistic wellbeing for over 23 years, I have lived with various chronic health conditions for 25 years. And have only began to grasp the real and deeper causes of dis-ease over the last few years.
I was chronically ill from the age of 19, I came down witha strange flu type illness that i never recovered from after a dentist accidentally put mercury up a root canal. At 22 I was diagnosed with M.E. after trying to fight through an illness that I was told was all in my head. I became so burnt out, that collapsing at college, sleeping up to 18 hours a day, intense sweats, poor cognitive function and confusion, deep muscular and joint pain became the norm.I had no choice but to return home to my parents and spent a large part of the next 7 years mostly housebound and at times bedbound.
Despite being very ill my Reiki Healer, Tom McCulloch made it possible for me to train and become attuned to Reiki 1 with International Reiki Master- Mari Hall in 1992 when she came over to teach Reiki in Scotland. I would later become a Reiki Master and train in many disciplines.
I spent those seven years as wisely as I could, although my original plan was to get back at college to complete my singing degree, it wasn't to be. My main focus became my health, my main goal to cure myself, so I educating myself on everything health and holistic I could. I managed to access home study courses and adjudicators’ at home to take my exams, I began studying various disciplines e.g. stress management, psychology, self development... anything that would help me and new found career.
But I still ended up with various health complications, but even the threat of losing my eye, was never as debilitaing as M.E. But each and every health challenge took me down another therapy and healing route, a great foundation of learning, for my work as a healer and therapist.
I had regular acupuncture, naturopathy, various types of healing, aromatherapy, reflexology, all sorts of massage, tried all sort of meditation, self-help skills, various nutritional supplements and allergy free diets, homeopathy, tissues salts, flower essences, herbalism...you name.... Craniosacral Therapy, The Alexander Technique and Rolfing...each journey was more learning, more understanding of the body, mind and emotions. Now some of my symptoms disappeared, some lessened, some stayed and sadly others appeared.
Despite being still chronically ill, I began a part time holistic wellbeing business in 2000. It began as a home business, an online directory and health information portal as I slowly built up my physical strength to provide a stress management and holistic therapy service.
But despite being a healer and therapist who trained in many therapeutic disciplines ironically I regularly burnt out...I barely had enough stamina and energy to work, I often required 16 hours of sleep a day and always required a 3 hour nap in the afternoon between work. I ate extremely healthy, took nutritional and other supplements, I meditated, had regular positive self talk, gratitude, therapies, you name it...but I now realise I wasn't giving my body what it really needed.
True Rests, true Recuperation, true Self Healing from a state of Being rather than doing.
Despite being a Meditation Teacher and healer I didn’t truly grasp and understand the true meaning of just being. I like 99.9999 % of the world, like you was trying to CONTROL my life, trying to FORCE my body into health, trying to FORCE my business to work. I was barely functioning never mind SURVIVING.
I saw work as my only route to FREEDOM, to IMPROVE my life, my health, my circumstances...so thats where I placed all my very limited energy,. I gained so much experience in my field treating others but I was destroying my own health in the process of constantly DOING rather than BEING.
My big lesson was I wasn't truly ACCEPTING my body, my journey, my sensitivity, the signals that my body and life was teaching me. So my health continued to suffer, it took a lot of harsh and scarey lessons before I truly listened to what my body had been screaming out for years. Infact it took a strange experience in intensive care whilst on a ventilator to really wake me up.
In my case it was my physical health that suffered, but maybe it is your relationships, your mental wellbeing, your career that your suffering with. I was constantly fighting to get better, instead of LETTING GO and LETTING GOD.
What are you constantly fighting or resisting? When we mentally, emotionally or physically resist, we are coming from a state of fear, a state of stress, so we manifest dis-ease.
And true healing doesn't come from an other, a therapist. healer, teacher but through awareness, of the self, a state of just being, being here right now, where balance, harmony, self-love, self-acceptance and peace manifests.
What is your health journey trying to tell you?
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